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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Monday, 23 June 2008


Lying face down on Ethical Hedonist's bed at some point in the early hours of the morning, feeling a little annoyed at my failure to orgasm because of my standard issue difficulties. I got tied to a wall and caned until I cried instead: when asked what I wanted, I said "play". It was an interesting decision to make on my part, to go specifically for pain rather than pleasure, but I needed a definate something and in the absence of one, the other worked. The caning itself was, as usual, exruciating, and I kept shying away and having to be turned around. The feeling after was worth it, legs collapsing a little from under me, falling back into bed and into his arms.

The doesn't usually bother me, but it is at the moment. I know it can be something of an uphill struggle, especially with a new partner and I do feel that it can come across as odd for them, almost ungracious, perhaps? I always try and explain and be upfront about it. It's certainly not that I don't enjoy fucking or fingersex or any sex at all. I really, really do, I just don't climax very easily, masturbation aside, of course.

I'm not embarrassed by it and I never fake an orgasm. I don't think there is either a physical or a pyschological issue, it's not lack of stimulation or a defunct nervous system, but just the way I am. This does make things like forced or denied orgasm an even more intriguing area to play in, and it's something that I do want to work on. I think that time will tell and as I become more used to my partners, it will get easier. Or harder. Depending on which way you look at it.

1 comment:

NaughtyJim said...

For what it's worth, I have the same as you. When someone gives me a blowjob or deep throats me or anything really I usually stop them as I'm scared of them getting bored or feeling bad about it. We can't help our bodies I guess...

I know a lot of people who don't orgasm easily - I think the key to it is in the mind, not the action. Basically I find it easier to come if I'm relaxed and not thinking about it - it stops being an issue; as long as everyone is having fun it's OK, right?

One thing I think that can help aswell is talking more during sex and having long periods of foreplay...

I have some plans I'm going to try next...I'll let you know if they work! ;)