One of my long term and serious fantasies, and one I hope to start to explore soon, is to become a doll. To move from being a person with thoughts and wants of her own to a porcelain object, impassive and beautiful. I've been batting a few ideas back and forth with The Photographer which has helped contextualise it a little.
The doll is a mirror of desire, and so the doll that I become at any given time will be unique, in effect, and dependent on the whim and will of the Dom in question. Over time, the doll will become increasingly attuned to that Dom and should theoretically develop totally unconscious reflex response to unspoken requirements. They will look different as well, I imagine, presenting certain faces depending on the circumstance. New identies, made to measure.
I want to work through how it feels to be a doll. To be manipulated, touched and fucked and to have to control and moderate behaviour in an appropriate and pleasing fashion. I also want to know what it's like to play with a doll, to have such a thing under one's fingertips, built to satisfy.
5 weeks ago