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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Caffeine and Normality

It is entirely possible that I may be conditioning myself to associate coffee with BDSM through the medium of meet ups in sober situations. This could have interesting repercussions. Tonight I'll be seeing Offensive Charmer and yesterday ground Guatemalan beans were drunk with Understated Fetishist. He was both very easy to be around and disarmingly normal, although apparantly so was I. Not a weirdo, was the phrase bandied about. I'm not entirely sure whether this is a good or a bad thing, especially given that terms such as "normal", "good" and "bad" are rapidly losing any useful meaning. Too many connotations making them lacking in specificity.

I've always associated the word "normal" with its unflattering synonym "average". From thence we get to terrible words such as "mundane" or even "boring". However I realised that there were other sides to it. Normality is safety, a shared understanding, an agreed space from which to work upon. Normal is what you are used to and also what you consider to be acceptable. It's your own fault if you manage to make it tedious.

At the same time as being the benchmark for the everyday, normal also gives us contrast: the difference between me-at-play and me sat here, sipping my increasingly context-laden coffee. Yet both of them also contain normality. I can be having an abnormal day dressed in either skin, depending on my mood or what is happening. It's a yardstick for measurement, but is different for every single one of us, and once I know where it lies, then we can really start to play.

Your normal is not my normal, but your normal is ok?

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