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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Now you see me, now you don't

Having exploratory conversations with Master Sculptor who very much likes the idea of The Doll Project and a variety of other exciting types of manipulation. With any luck, and all diaries being equal, we should be able to meet for drinks next week and see whether we are still amenable to each other's desires. He's also interested in training a slave (something he's currently working on with his partner) and has some fairly intense ideas. He mooted the point that the ultimate control would be to completely take power over my body: to be able to command or prevent orgasm or sexual desire, even when he wasn't present.

A large part of me considers that unlikely, not to mention unfair on my other partners, and I told him so, but fortunately he wasn't deterred. Now, I'm not at all sure how I would respond to that type of Domination, or even if I would be able to maintain those levels of submission away from him. I have always kept a very distinct barrier between when I am me in play and when I am me, being me. I'm not submissive at work, for example, or when I'm with my friends. Submission is a release from the day-to-day, a break from reality and an immersion in a play space so there is almost a necessary gap. I often use a significant token in order to distinguish these states - with Ethical Hedonist it tends to be either a collar or being tied up; The Photographer and I have a nice gesture in which removal of jewellery indicates my readiness to submit.

These items help both of us to know where we stand, to be able to relate to each other in a clear manner, and it might be very interesting to work without these signs. Although that said, certainly they have been very useful in the past to contextualise play and not-play which has helped connect with my partners as friends as well as play partners - a difficult thing to do when you are in a submissive headspace.

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