I've always thought of The Doll as a gendered construct, an enhanced feminine form. Obviously part of this is the fact that I am biologically female so performing a masculine doll would be difficult for me, but there are other reasons. The cultural repetoire of dolls runs from girlish (and garish) Barbie through cold, collectable porcelain to tawdry blow-up sex-aid. They are all icons of womanhood, whether pleasant or unpleasant to consider from a feminist perspective.
In my mind, The Doll looks female, overtly so. A circus freak of sexuality whose identity lies only in use. Balanced precariously on heels to extend the leg and thrust out the hips and buttocks. Thick make-up describing a fixed, red smile and wide kohl rimmed eyes. Waspie corset encircling the centre creating a crushingly minature waist, rouged nipples and a smooth shaved cunt advertise its function.
And it is an "it" rather than a "she" because no matter how the The Doll ultimately appears, and it is likely that over the course of the project there will be multiple dolls, it is not supposed to be an actual woman. It is a toy, an object, a thing to be used. I haven't yet worked out where the pleasure (mine or my partners) will lie in playing with this creation. Will it be in my ability to project something so impassive or perhaps at that juncture when I can no longer mimic something man-made, when I shatter the illusion and buck or break. Is it in fucking a doll or in fucking a real woman trying hard to be a doll for your pleasure?
5 weeks ago