As someone who tries to be a "good" submissive I tend to miss out on the punishment angle. Whilst pain-play can be easily incorporated into a scene by a Dom who just fancies doing that, there is a particular context that punishment can give. The sense of deserving is key for me, of the pain being justified and correct, which is heightened by saying "thank-you" afterwards, in appreciation of the effort that has gone into the activity. There is also a wonderful sense of satisfaction to it all: I like the idea that I am doing something well so I am happy with the thought of being modified and improved. Punishment is a part of that, alongside being able to take the beating without complaint, and perhaps even with pleasure.
There is an interesting balance to be struck between reward and punishment, particularly when the two can be easily exchanged. For example, I rather enjoy flogging so wouldn't necessarily consider it a punishment, although it can certainly appear to be one. Similarly, a current reward is being allowed to sleep in collar and cuffs. This works because I want to submit and to be played with. An appropriate punishment suggested a while back by The Photographer would be to ignore me, or to put me in a corner, or even (perish the thought) to send me home.
5 weeks ago