I've had a little time to myself recently, away from partners and games. I did wonder briefly whether this space would make me rethink any of my actions, and that perhaps on my return I'd be less keen, having had the room to contemplate without distraction. Because I've been out of the scene for a while and only recently returned, I had a slight niggling doubt that perhaps I might no longer be interested in it. That I was only back out of some half hearted urge to rekindle old sensations and that, once removed again, I wouldn't miss them.
Fortunately this didn't occur, quite the opposite, confirming what I had long suspected: being kinky is hardwired in. I have tried vanilla, and I tried quite hard, but it didn't work. No harm done. My sexual palate has not atrophied and I still have a hankering for something a little stronger, something with bite.
This is reassuring to me, I've made the right choice. I'm not dabbling, I'm not having some kind of extreme reaction to the end of a long relationship, I'm not here at someone else's behest. I'm where I'm supposed to be, where it feels right. I'm excited and energised, tanatalised by possibilities, playfully calm.
I'm here to stay.
5 weeks ago