BDSM is not a one person activity, it would be lonesome, quite appart from any health and safety issues. So I'm making inroads into finding people who are into the scene to talk to, play with and go out and about with. This is giving me some very lovely evenings out, notably with The Photographer and Ethical Hedonist who I met yesterday afternoon for a coffee and wandered home around midnight after a sufficiency of gin and tonics. He's a lovely guy and we had a lot in common besides the obvious. In many respects it was like a normal date, except a bit more straightforward on the sex front. We are both fairly convinced that neither is an axe murderer or a mutant and will meet up again to share our mutual love of japanese rope bondage, amongst other things.
I'm also finding that a little light IM or chatroom conversations can be pretty stimulating. I have a tendency to ignore most messages that come from people I don't know, but I did get intrigued when a male submissive dropped me a note. We shared slavery fantasies for a while, and although not everything he said was precisely to my taste, there was a lot of common ground that we had fun in. Anonymous, hot and possibly the safest sex in the world: cybersex does have a lot going for it.
It would be foolish in the extreme to expect all interactions to go so well. And they haven't. Nothing too traumatic has occured merely that which is best described as incompatabilities which I've had to steer around in order to avoid upsetting anyone's feelings. I'm doing a good line in polite "no thank-you's" The majority of these have been from either guys much older than my desired range wanting to do things I'm not interested in - age play, for example, or men whose spelling is so poor I'm not really sure what they want except a good dictionary. From this we learn that I might be coming across as both elitist and ageist, but you desire what you desire. A cunning linguist is always a turn-on. Anyway, in these cases a gently worded pushback was all that was needed.
There have been a few more difficult ones though including very nice note from Married Bloke who has a vanilla wife allegedlty happy for him to explore his kinky side. I balked at this not because of anything he wanted or said, or his photo which was nice, but because he's married. I appreciate that this must be difficult for him, yet there is no way that I am helping someone commit adultery. I'm not sure precisely how I'm mentally squaring this with my hopeful intention to go off and play with the Lovely Couple who are probably also married. I think it's because they are doing it together, and are very upfront about the fact that they are a couple who play. Then again, they haven't said they are married, so I also can't be sure. One to think about.
In a final, shaking my head with wonderment moment, I had an email from someone who complemented me on my IC profile and when I clicked on his found he had cut and pasted sections of it and used for his own. There are a lot of things I am prepared to submit to, plagiarism isn't one of them.
Abandoned to his fate in inescapable rope
3 months ago