The Photographer and I are planning a weekend away, well, I'm going to visit him so it's away for me. We are currently discussing a kidnap and torture situation with reward/punishment which will aim to break "me" down and re-create a new compliant and subservient identity for him to use and abuse at leisure. We're playing with ideas of Stockholm syndrome and behavioural conditioning. Theory aside, and there will be discussion of that, we've been talking limits and batting thoughts back and forth. Whilst the planning is an awful lot of fun, there is a strong drive to just get down to it, however the space in between us is being bridged by a steady stream of emails and IMs which are, appart from being both fun and hot, assauging any fears and worries for both parties.
There is a great comfort and reassurance to be had in the honest discussion of practicalities, and very specific practicalities in particular from protection through likely behaviour whilst in scene to rules on going to the bathroom. The latter resulted in me becoming embarrassed and insisting that whilst some things were all very well, I wasn't French, which may mean I will be the only woman in the world to safeword when not allowed to close the bathroom door. I maintain that this is no more weird than wanting to be tied up and beaten.
Another thing that was good to talk through was what we both wanted to get out of the weekend, hoped for outcomes and how we think we can get there.
1 week ago