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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Monday, 1 September 2008

Appearances and deception

In conversation over the weekend with Different Drummer, a friend who may soon become a little more than a friend, and he expressed a certain amount of shock when I told him I was a submissive. We'd been discussing pain and the general wonderfulness of it, alongside a promise to take him out to a club and introduce him to the joys of BDSM. I'd long suspected that he leaned in that direction, which was confirmed enthusiastically, but I was interested to realise that his impressions of me were not correct.

I do switch, but occasionally and only really with The Photographer. Overall I prefer to submit and yet, this person who I know reasonably well, assumed that I was a Domme. I am a strong personality, I suppose and I remember a conversation with Understated Fetishist where he was a little disarmed by the combination of confidence and submission.

I don't set out to be untruthful or to deliberately confuse, but for very obvious and private reasons neither do I wear my outlook on a T-shirt. That said, I also don't feel that in order to be a submissive one should appear so all the time, or that there is any one particular mode of submission. I like to submit, and I tend to be very enthusiastic and energised about things I enjoy. Confidence is internal and external - it is the value I have for myself, and also the face I present to the outside world: the strength that allows me to hand over my body and my mind to someone else in full acceptance of what might happen. For me, without that there would be no submission, because nothing would change or be exchanged.

7 comments:

bushlover said...

Is this all some kind of catharsis? It's desperately dull and introspective, full of storybook characters we don't know, and ruminations which are entirely personal. What's the point? And what's so 'post-modern' about it that you need to name it eponymously!

Lissof said...

Surely Post Modern is tongue in cheek, or should it be chic? PMS is introspective, like it or not. I find the blog both humorous and interesting: just like its author.

electronic doll said...

Cathartic and personal in a blog: a revelation. Yes. It's for me, it's for those that I play with and those who are generally interested in my day-to-day kink related activities. Not to everyone's taste, clearly, but then, the internet is a large place.

bushlover said...

Why do you have to babble about your private affairs? Does it make them more justified, or something? It's bizarre, it's like you're just a costume of words!

electronic doll said...

Not quite as bizarre as a person who keeps on reading something they obviously aren't interested in, or don't understand the point of. No-one is forcing you to read this and if you don't like it, I'm sure there are other blogs that will entertain you.

In short: we're done here, darling. Take a hike.

bushlover said...

I ain't taking a hike anywhere, 'darling'. You've gone public with your private affairs....so swim!

Hedwig said...

Clearly bushlover loves this blog.

Cute...

And suddenly I remember the old saying.
"The personal spaces are political".

I think E. Doll is an excellent swimmer. Sort of a Phelps. But kinky.

Go Doll!