I received a wonderful email from Switching Sides recently which was a kind of pre-match questionnaire to run through details of our first actual session, which should be in a few weeks, although he is attending Antichrist this Friday where myself and The Photographer will be gothing it up.
I like talking about kink and I also have a fondness for practicalities. They make me feel safe, prepared and full of the thrill of anticipation. I have a mild horror of people who come over all coy or squeamish at the subject of sex (BDSM or vanilla) as realistically, if you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it. So it was with a sly smile and quick tapping fingers that I jotted down some responses for him. Aside from the standard points about contraception, injuries and possible previous bad experiences (I thought that was a nice touch), there were more detailed notes on types of pain, levels and thoughts on bondage. I'm now really rather looking forward to spending some quality time with him.
There's probably a lot to be read into the questions that people ask and how they phrase them. Aside from friends of friends I'm introduced to at clubs, parties and munches, the internet is the first point of contact for most new people I meet. This means that the typed word becomes prioritised: no voice, no body language, no flicker of facial recognition and (sadly) no smiles or laughter. Lols are no subsitute, I feel. Some people are better at text than others, and some are better in text than person: with all the human contact lacking it can be very hard to get a feel for whether you will like someone, and all-too-easy to be turned off by people's online personas or how they come across. But I do like language. I've been given some marvellous stories by filthy minded people (and admittedly some blatant copy-paste ones with the wrong insert-name-here put in) I've swapped some extremely pleasant perversities over IM.
It is, and always will be for me, pre-amble. A beginning of something, and not a relationship in and of itself. I do appreciate that there are those who conduct BDSM activities over the internet, and certainly Offensive Charmer and I have discussed technological possibilities, but they will be a side dish, an addition. I don't really live on the internet, although I do have a lot of fun there.
Inescapable extended captivity in rope bondage
1 month ago