There is something very sadly wrong with the world. In Manchester, five men have been acquitted of gang-rape because the victim had fantasies about group sex. Let me just clarify that - they have not been "found innocent" because it has been proven through facts and evidence, they were there, they did the deed. The victim must have enjoyed it because she had fantasised about group sex, therefore it could not have been rape.
This cuts deep to a lot of problems at the heart of attitudes towards sex, towards consent and towards sexual desire. There is a tacit understanding in this case, that if someone fantasises about a certain sort of sexual practice then therefore they must want it, want it from just anyone, and have no say in where, how and when. There is also the issue that almost always occurs with regards to women who enjoy sex, especially sex outside-of-the-ordinary. That the sex is the important thing, not the context. That because this sex-act looked a little bit like something she had described (but never experienced outside her own head) then she must have wanted it exactly like that. In short - she was asking for it.
Given my own sexual activities and desires this puts me in a somewhat worrying position, should, god forbid, anything like that occur to me. After all, I have fantasies about group sex, rape, mutilation and even death - I have a very exciting masturbation torture fantasy in which I submit to all sorts of painful activities but always keep my secret and take it to the grave, being shot behind the sheds and bleeding out into the thick snow - that doesn't mean I actually want to be shot. I don't actually want to be raped. I don't actually want to be mutilated.
So, just for the record, in case of any confusion and to be absolutely clear. I have rape fantasies. I don't want to be raped. Please try and spot the difference, it's very important.
2 weeks ago