I have bite marks on my neck, I am ashamed to reveal. I'm not big on them, I must admit. Normally I quite like sporting the temporary trophies of a play session - red lines or swirling bruises. But not on my neck. It's not just the fact that they are hard to conceal, although fortunately it is Autumn so I don't look out of the ordinary in a high neck top, but visibility is a part of it. I like to keep my BDSM and work life separate, very distinctly so.
I'm also not fond of the connotations of bruises in this particular area and never have been. From the terrible teen movie term "hickey" through to the puerile playground "lovebite" even language used to describe kisses bitten deep is a little distasteful. This is not, by the way, a reflection on the sensation that produced them. I have a very sensitive neck: I really enjoy having it kissed, played with, bitten or gripped with firm hands. All of these things are fantastic. The marks, less so. However, I'm also not handing out blame. These things happen, and no real harm done, my neck is still a little stiff and sore, however. Different Drummer and I did have a conversation afterwards where he agreed that yes, I mark really quite easily and he will remember that.
That aside, our play session was interesting in that I found myself topping, but not topping. He is relatively new to BDSM so I was showing him some kit, some rope ties and so on. Then there was the pinwheel, which he really liked. So he stripped to the waist and laid down whilst I sat astride him and played with the wheel on his (very twitchy) back. After a while he thought he might like to be gagged, so I put that on him. I could feel him get carried away with the sensations as I played, and he later revealed that he had felt extremely relaxed. It wasn't so much him topping from the bottom as a joint experiment in physical stimuli, I didn't feel like I was topping, but neither did I feel as if he was: we were playing around.
5 weeks ago