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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Joint venture

The Photographer and I have recently set our stall out as wanting to play more together, co-subbing for want of a better word. We had a great experience with Lovely Couple and are hoping to secure some more fun and games. Thus far, as with the hunt for the Hot Bi Babe (male) either the universe has a lack of such people, or we are looking in the wrong places. Optimistically I'm hoping it's the latter, although willing to concede it might be the former. Given the general mood of heternormativity within the kinky circles I'm travelling in the types of responses we are getting seem par for the course: cuckold fantasists, "porn" directors, and a lot of don't-touch-me whereby the respondent indicates that they do want to play with a couple but don't want to lay a finger (or vice versa) on the male part of the equation. Which puts paid to any boy-on-boy fellatio daydreams that either myself or The Photographer might have.

Part of it is that we are not looking for sex, specifically. We're looking for play. Straight vanilla fucking (with or without a total stranger) holds no interest for me, and besides, no wives to swap here. But we are interested in a sexualised context, a powerplay of desire and manipulation where we each get to be objects or tools of attraction, service and need. Like most things BDSM it's about a mental attitude, and that is, I suppose what we are searching for: like-minded folk, and given that we are all specialists, with our perfect kink playing out in our minds, there is going to be a lot of non-overlap. And oh, there certainly is.

That said, we do have a number of potential offers on the table. Welsh Dom has made me excited enough to clap my hands by proposing a weekend in a horsebox for the pair of us, which is probably not a November activity, so we have plenty of time to chat. And buy tack. Additionally, a couple of charming young men have answered my rallying call for finding terrible things to do to my partner in crime and we are hovering at the diary point with them.

One of the things I enjoy so much about team games is the added sense of confidence and excitement I get in actively seeking new opportunities. Having someone else to perve and plan with is a wonderful aphrodisiac, and knowing that I won't be traipsing over to God-knows-where by myself is always a plus. Then there is the sensation of sharing, in a very different sense to poly, or to watching him play with someone else in a club. Of co-existing, as equals in a similar headspace, similarly confined and constrained.

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