A lot of my communication with current partners and also potential partners is done via email, memo or IM, for a number of reasons not least that I am not all that keen on widely distributing my phone number. The Internet is a great medium but it does have its downsides.
It affords anonymity, and this cuts both ways. Whilst I am safe and protected behind my computer screen, so too my conversation partner is hidden from me. I can only see what they choose to present and that can make getting to know a person quite difficult. It also means that I make decisions on who to talk to and who to bypass based on things that wouldn't normally be immediately obvious if we had, for example, met in the pub. I put a lot of stock in language, as is probably quite obvious by now, and look quite hard at how people phrase themselves, the words they use and how the spell and punctuate them. Or not.
I'm interested in the images people use to represent themselves online. On this site, I've chosen two shots of parts of my body, no face shot. However, on sites where I am looking to meet someone for play or chat then I will use a face shot rather than an image or an icon, and I tend to avoid people who don't do this. First, because I want to connect with another person and having a face shot helps me with that, second I'm superficial, I judge partners, in part, by their looks because attraction is important to my experience of play.
I want an face to put to those words, to be able to picture the person I'm talking to, saying those things. Neither of which is entirely possible over the internet. The Photographer and I have decided that it might not be a bad thing to go to more munches and other socialising events to meet people face to face rather than in either club or online personas.
5 weeks ago