I had a discussion with Spirit on seduction. What we were really talking about was how to attract submissives, but my reaction to the word was quite strong - I was both drawn to and repelled by the idea of seduction. My first thoughts were rather romantic (don't tell anyone, but I do have a terribly old fashioned romantic streak). When feeling toppy, dominant or masculine - interesting how those terms all interlink - I enjoy being able to offer the drinks, lead the conversation and control the situation, to a point.
There's a darker side of seduction, the weight of social mores hangs upon it. Whether it's the blame game of women seducing men for their money or power, or the disgusting antics of pickup artists whose members prey upon those with low self-worth in order to score a fuck. Underscoring both of these is the idea that seduction is a trick, something that is played upon the unwitting - or worse, unwilling - in order to con them.
Part of dominance is about controlling and managing the desire of others, but you can't build that from nothing and whilst I sometimes enjoy the chase I have no intention of banging my head against a proverbial brick wall nor taking anything from someone who hasn't consented, on some level. Those submissives who go on dates with me when I'm either in drag mode or dominant / top mode want to be seduced. By agreeing to go on the date, I have been granted a "permission to seduce" and in many instances, I've already played with them, the date is almost a follow-up.
Which leaves me with the decision of who to direct my attentions towards and what form this seduction might take. I'll be egotistical for a moment and say that I haven't really had any problem in finding people to play with. The test will be whether I am able to develop any longer term relationships, which is currently dependent more on my own availability - emotional and time related. My inbox is pleasingly full with offers - mostly from women, which is interesting and not what I'd initially expected. I suppose it makes sense given that my wider kinky social group is bi-female heavy. Plus I do like to dress as a boy. I'm not sure I've ever actually seduced anyone, at least, not on purpose. I'm considering that maybe I should start, if only to see how it goes. I am certainly going to "wine, dine then tie up and make scream" a number of people in the hopefully-not-to-distant-future. Does that count as seduction?
I suppose that the pre-meditated social interaction with someone in order to make them want to fuck you is as good a definition as any, and certainly I've done that, but to me seduction implies a longer, more drawn out game. Perhaps Spirit and I are trying to seduce each other, we're certainly still trying to decide who is going to be on top, as it were. Last night we continued our dance, which included a small amount of physical fighting and much more mental jousting. As it turned out, she used a strap on to fuck me, and I have a large bite mark on my back, but I feel that the game is far from over.
THE FEMDOM ROPE DOJO: SHIBARI PARTY
2 months ago