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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Sunday, 19 December 2010


I had a rare opportunity on Friday night to top Spiral. She has always been, in my mind, a dominant. She told me that she just fancied trying out how it felt and I was certainly privileged to be the vehicle for those experiments. And also not a little nervous, partly because of performance anxieties and also because I knew that she would have ample opportunity in the future to get her own back. I had an email from her which briefly listed the things that she was and wasn't interested in, it was certainly more along the lines of bottoming than submission, psychological aspects like humiliation were on the no list, but sensation play - within certain parameters, was.

It was one of those times when I wanted to have more technical expertise to be able to deliver that physical sort of play. One of the challenges I had was in knowing exactly what to do, not only was this going to be the first time topping her, we were also using Captain's studio which meant that there was a wealth of choice in terms of kit and the difficulty lay in selecting what to use. I knew what she was like as a top, but I had no experience of how she would react as a bottom, so it was an experiment for both of us. There were also a few things on her no list - including asphyxiation and tight enclosure (such as hoods) which would have normally been my natural go-to kit to give a very dreamy, bottoming sensation.

I started with the kit I was most familiar with - rope and electricity. I got her to stand in front of me and slowly stripped her, moving her arms this way and that, then repositioning them on the top of her head when done with them. I needed to keep hold of her wrists to stop her from moving herself around. Once naked, I blindfolded her then laid her face down on a padded leather bench. I laced and over laced rope over her figure, in criss-crossed patches from her shoulder down to her ankles, pausing to avoid the view. I placed a couple of E-stim pads at the base of her bottom, and adjusted the power until I could see her twitch. I also inserted an attachment into her cunt, enjoying playing with her clit and the multiple piercings - the feel of them, hard and cool against the wet of her obvious pleasure and obvious moans made me smile.

I experimented with a few different bits of impact toys, taking time to check in with her as to which were working and which were not. I was intrigued by the fact that she enjoyed the harsher, stingier pieces, the same sort of ones that she liked using as a top. A number of softer toys soon littered the floor having being judged as "not really doing anything". Similarly, the violet wand, which I really enjoy myself was not the right tool for the job. I wasn't getting precisely frustrated, but I was feeling a little limited in what to do next, I wanted to deliver to her the same sort of pain / pleasure experience that she has done to me in the past.

At which point, Majeste arrived and the look on her face was priceless. I was somewhat relieved to be able to take a break, and let her take over for a while, and sharing the play was a pleasure. I could concentrate on the sharp, delicate sensations of pinwheels and dental tools over skin, followed with drips of wax from a height, until it was time to take a break. We sat together, all three of us, and Spiral in the middle wrapped in a blanket, discussing what worked and what didn't.

In retrospect, I think I was probably too gentle, having (foolishly perhaps) anticipated nerves or anxieties on her front and therefore going on a softly-softly route of slow play that focused more on controlled pleasure and only intermittent, light pain. It was the right choice for a first session, but it didn't deliver the intensity of reactions. I think that next time - assuming that there is one - something a lot more direct and aggressive might be the order of the day, to put her off balance and further out of her comfort zone.

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