One minus X

I've tried to write this a few times now. Trying to put things in order, to explain clearly without being numb to my emotions; to express my feelings without being dramatic. There are lots of important things I want to keep, to preserve and work through by writing them down. But I can't. Nothing fits. I don't know what to do.

Everything I write, or think, or do seems stupid and lifted from a pathetic scene in a film, and the one person I want to be with most in the entire world, who could make all of this better, is the one person I can't call.

Fuck.