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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Friday, 7 August 2009

Just for me

Recently, through whatever synaptic vagaries my brain churns out these days, I've been having a lot of fantasies about submissive men. Beautifull toned and wonderfully naked pretty, submissive men. In handcuffs. If I close my eyes, I can picture it perfectly. One of those men who is a little over-muscled, strong looking, great hands. I like the dichotomy of someone powerful on their knees in front of me, giving it all up.

I think I'd be keen to get one all to myself, who I could mould into the perfect companion, to best fit a lifestyle to which I would very much like to become accustomed. It might be the regular sight of all that tortured masculine muscle mass in the gym (alongside the smell of sweat, nothing says "I'm trying hard to please" like a tang in the air). It might be that my life is a little stressful at the moment and the thought of someone who would lovingly attend to my every need is extremely pleasing. It might be that I'm becoming more of a sadist these days and that I want something to control, to hurt, to punish and to manipulate. I might be just that I miss oral sex. Receiving it, that is, it's a certain sort of orgasm, deeper and more satisfying than masturbation, which is my current outlet.

There's one particular thought that has always been pleasing, but now much more so. I want to keep someone in chastity. I especially like the heavy, metal sheathes that leave balls exposed - applying a crop to testicles until they become taut and swollen is definitely on the list of things I'd like to do, and do soon. It's not just about the look though, or the feel. It's about the emotional and sexual connection. I haven't taken something away, I have been given something, which I will hold and look after dearly. Not merely physical control, although having someone unable to orgasm without my say-so makes me grin, I want the knock-on effects of this. The chastity is the physical reminder, the ticking-clock of controlled desire. The real fun is in the psychology. A slave who is duty-bound (in more ways than one) and keen to follow my instructions, to offer himself up to me for whatever reason, and in whatever manner I choose. At home as well as when we play away games. In public and in private.

The perfect gentleman.

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