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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Monday, 8 November 2010


"Do you want to just lie back and let me please you?"

Yes. Yes I do. Being dominant doesn't mean being on top and active at all times. Leastways, mine doesn't. I like attention too and the general sense of being looked after. Sometimes I want to take charge and throw someone around, tie them up and watch them squirm, sometimes I want to dabble my fingers into their brains without lifting a finger, right now I want to relax and let my body be the centre of his world.

Watching Dandy kneeling on the floor, carefully removing my skirt and underwear (the stripey knee-high socks stay on, of course) and placing his hands on either side of my hips before he presses his tongue lightly against my clit. It's a view I don't think I'll get tired of any time soon. Cunnilingus is a pleasure quite unlike any other form of stimulation. The combination of delicate pressure, together with the submission inherent in the action, creates a heady mix of psychological and physical pleasure. I need the two in order for it to work - the sensation alone is rarely enough, but the context makes for an explosive orgasm. The orgasms themselves are longer, wetter and more powerful than those achieved by masturbation. They are also harder to attain, take longer and can be more unpredictable. It's around fifty-fifty whether I will come or not or whether I will just get too sensitive to take any more.

Start with the physical. First, and rather obviously, I don't have to do anything. I can just make myself comfortable and enjoy the sensations. It's a blissful feeling
, the wetness against wetness. It needs to be exquisitely delicate, barely a brush or whisper of the tongue and the lips, and consistency is also important: my orgasms are fickle and require a regularity that I can rely upon to carry me over the edge. I know that it's working when my head clears, and I find myself held in a blank, warm state, floating against his tongue. After a while, my feet and hands start to tingle with pins and needles, my fingers flex and I know that soon I will orgasm. There is a thrill that runs through me, from the warmth in my cunt and up right to the top of my head. Full of the knowledge that this is my boy, my toy and my object of desire serving me.

For me, receiving head is a dominant act and though I've heard others argue the contrary, from the Romans onwards through to Majeste who speaks of "tasting what is hers" there is a theory of giving oral sex as an active, thereby dominant role. However, there's not really much altering of my internal logic on this front. I find it impossible to enjoy oral sex in the submissive or bottom position, it feels strange, awkward. However, as a dominant I find it is perfect. T
he cutting out of the submissive's ability to speak, the knelt position, face obscured, the fact that unlike fucking, there is no comparable reciprocal sensation here, all make me feel extremely powerful.

He is serving my desires without taking a similar level of pleasure and that also makes me feel very dominant. However, the important thing is that he must enjoy doing it. This is not something I would be at all comfortable taking or really forcing on someone. There are many unpleasant acts that I would happily and with an evil grin put him through merely to keep me amused but anything to do with my body must be something he is not only willing but keen to the point of desperate. I imagine him begging to do it, crawling on all fours. Or as part of a daily routine, a wake-up call or goodnight kiss. Oral sex is like a compliment paid through the mouth. The value he assigns to my body is reflective of the value he assigns to me and hence to my superior position in the power exchange. And frankly, if your submissive doesn't get excited by serving the sexual needs of your body then there is something sadly wrong.

The other, final, element that turns me on is my own comparable passivity in the situation. I am not exerting myself, he is making all the effort - he laps: I lap up the pleasure. Perfect.

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