I have a standing joke with Knight of Wands that we (well, ourselves and the kinksters we know) all live in a TV show entitled Kinksville, possibly showing late on Channel 4 after repeats of Eurotrash. Before I'm about to tell him news of something that has happened to people we know, some drama or other incident I preface it with "and on this episode of Kinksville..."
This week has been a bit like that. Lots of ups and downs, sudden things flaring up, being resolved (or not). The sort of week that makes you feel that if you were a character in a show you might feel a little persecuted by the writers. House move and various real life activities have kept me away from the Internet and running low on reserves. Having finally admitted to myself that asking for a bit of human company is neither an imposition nor a surrender I dropped Dandy a line. We've been more "on" than "off" over the past week or so and I just needed to reach out. There was a rush of internal relief and gratitude when he responded quickly. We met for lunch, there was kissing, hand-holding and much desired hugs - then we went to the pub where Captain, Ringmaster, Rossetti and sundry others were gathered, including a new person who we rapidly inducted into our secret nerd society of wearing black, using funny words and spending all our money on outre pieces of equipment bought over the internet.
The combination of people who I knew, the solicitous and gorgeously puppyish behaviours of Dandy and a medicinal gin and tonic had me coming to myself very quickly. Which made me think - why didn't I do this sooner? To say "fuck it" to things that can't be fixed right now, to drop the pretence that I have to suffer in noble silence and just get out there and have a bit of fun. But sometimes I worry about reaching out, fearful that my desires will be rejected, or that I will feel foolish for acting on them. Kinksville can be a bit like that - full of trepidations and concerns that end up being unfounded when you actually get out there and do things.
And the things that we did. After a few drinks and the decision that a night at Torture Garden would probably be too much, we headed over to Captain's house for what could be coyly described as an "intimate play party" and more accurately described as a "bunch of kinky bastards messing around". I bought party rings. Drinks were made and eventually clothes came off and play began. Sybian, torture, abuse and a very silly hat were involved. Highlights for me included being able to do my first bit of public puppy play with Dandy - also that he trusted me enough to submit to me in public and then later ganging up on Boy Wonder with him. There was a nice balance to that threesome, which almost made me swear to never take another partner who wasn't a bisexual switch, the fact that we could all interact on a similar level. And of course, all nice girls like a bit of boy on boy.
We played until we were all tired out. By the end I was stood in the centre of the room watching sleepy, mostly naked perverts curled up around each other. Sharing a comment with Ringmaster about how happy and proud I was to be part of this fucked up little kinky family, before heading home with Dandy to collapse into bed and into his arms. Held together. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm glad for what I've got right now.
5 weeks ago