So, a strange turn of events over the weekend left me without Ten but with Dandy - not they are interchangeable, far from it. They share the fact that they are both keen on puppy play and both are well mannered gentlemen, but that only really describes the beginnings of why I'm interested in either one. I'm not going to draw crass comparisons here: it's rude and doesn't do anyone any favours, least of all myself. Suffice it to say that I'm very glad that both are within my purview, for however long and within whatever confines that turns out to be. I'll admit that I am rather keen to see what might happen when the pair of them are put together in compromising circumstances, which might be an attempt to have my cake and eat it, but we'll see.
I do like my puppy boys. Keen, eager to please, nice to look at and with a forthright animal honesty (and sexuality) that just makes me want to clap my hands with glee - which I do at childishly regular intervals. I've still got a stupid grin on my face from last night, proving without a doubt, in case there ever was one, that doms can be just as spaced out and high from a good scene as subs. It's been a while since I've been in the driver's seat, and whilst I'm not precisely anxious, I do want to deliver a good experience for those I'm with. Which in my case, means research and making lists. I went out for dinner and drink with Dandy, firing off a list of twenty questions and probing for detail. What was he looking for, likes, dislikes, desires, fears. And beneath all that, the things that make those wants and needs real - where they come from, why one thing is hot and another thing isn't. Context is very important. I file it all for future reference.
One of the big attractions is that he is a switch. When he talks about what he likes and how he likes it, there's a lot of "oh, me too" pinging in the back of my mind. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. It's always a little dangerous to assume that just because someone else likes some of the things you do, that they will like all of them. It's reasonably clear that I probably enjoy pain more, for example. It is nice, however, to be able to discuss topping and bottoming as pretty much interchangeable examples of enjoyable play, and to have the understanding that either one of us could deliver or receive. I like the level playing field this creates - neither of us is automatically "in charge", but either of us can choose to be so depending on how we are feeling. We discussed the difficulties of being a switch. Of being in relationships were you felt you weren't getting enough of one thing, or were always having to take a certain role. Of feeling inconsistent and of being perceived as inconsistent - and therefore unreliable or "bad".
For the moment, we've both decided to be happily inconsistent, but to keep each other posted on whatever inconsistency we're displaying whenever we meet up. I am reminded about variety being the spice of life. Then I grin again.
THE FEMDOM ROPE DOJO: SHIBARI PARTY
2 months ago