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The online diary of an ethical pervert.

Monday, 30 August 2010

Switch v switch

I had my first play session in a while on Saturday night, and marked another first by introducing a new play partner - Dandy. He's a bi switch (been looking for one of those) who I've known for a while and we've connected after a little semi-cautious circling, both of us have had upsets on the relationship front and reasonably well-matched in terms of what we are looking for and looking to avoid out of other people and kink.

It's rare that I go into a scenario without advance planning - even if that just consists of a simple understanding that once I get into the room I'll be totally under the other person's control. I've generally found that having a general agreement about what might happen and what won't happen tends to improve play if only be eliminating possible bones of contention. This time, however, both of us were keen to see how we felt at the time, partly due to the fact that we are switches and partly due to the fact that we were new to each other and not sure what to expect. I certainly find that my sense of whether I want to be on top or on the bottom flips in the presence of the other party - I might well fancy a flogging when I wake up but whether or not I want that person to do it in the evening depends on how I feel when my pheremones touch base with theirs. I did know that what I wanted was going to be much more about "kinky sex" than "D/s" - that sort of intricate intimacy does rely on having more established parameters and a greater familiarity with the other person. In short, I wasn't really sure what was going to happen, which was exciting in and of itself. I knew I liked the look of him, and from the few interactions we'd had at group events there was a definite click, but beyond that was anyone's guess.

What we got was fun, frankly - and I'd been missing that over the past few weeks. In many ways I've gotten rather serious about my interactions and fucking around with someone else similarly inclined was probably exactly what I needed. We started off relatively slowly, almost sizing each other up. I didn't get a strong sense of either "top" or "bottom" from him and wanted to see how it might go. We interspersed lots of kissing (he's a good and keen kisser, which is a definite plus) with what is probably best termed play-fighting, in the sense that neither of us were obvious trying to really hurt the other, much. There was some rough and tumble, giggling and a lot of tickling - he has a ticking fetish, to which fact my aching ribs are now a pleasant testamonial. What we mostly did was try things out and see what worked through acts of struggle, capture and moments of mild abuse.

Moments included enjoying stripping of his top to reveal totally waxed skin and discovering how incredibly sensitive his back is - the smallest of strokes makes him shudder. I got tied down and bent over a puppy cage with a tail-butt plug whilst weights were gently attached to my piercing causing me to make little mewling sounds. Later, He found himself held down as I tapped, slapped pinched his perfectly cock and balls, his face pressed against the crook of my neck, moaning without words, his entire body held in tension after each blow. I later used a vibe to good effect on his perineum and at the point where the legs meet the curve of the bottom - I recently was told that this works on boys, and was happy to find that it really does. Eventually, tired and happy, we collapsed into bed.

I enjoyed the visceral and physical stimulation of the evening, there was a lot of laughter and a lot of, well, switching. We used toys, but very much in a rifling through the chocolate box kind of way. Most of the time it was hands, fingers and tongues, there was a lot of skin contact, stroking, touching, licking and sucking. There was no "scene" as such, nor any ongoing active / passive dynamic which was also different - each of us seemed to more take it in turns to absorb or deliver pleasure and pain (and both). It was refreshningly easy and uncomplicated.

Over coffee the next morning we had a good chat and agreed we'd both rather enjoyed getting-to-know-you exploration of each other's bodies and switchy twitches. No sides have been drawn up, and scores have not been posted. So we have arranged for a rematch, perhaps next weekend.


Liz the Land Girl said...

oooooo, sounds like you had a very good time. It reminds me of something I read once, from the Nasty School blog....(though I can't find it anymore online?)
"I've noticed that many of the Doms/Dommes I meet seem to think they have to be all serious and stony-faced.
This shit is fun people! Relax! I think humor is a critical part of D/s.... As is authenticity. For me it's about discovering more of our authentic nature, not putting on some pretense of stern invulnerability."

I know you were both switches, but I think the sentiment is the's all mean to be fun. that's why vanilla sex advice always say....foreplay is about 'play'...but as you said, sometimes it's easy to forget that.
But when you can just giggle and have some rough and tumble...well, as Plato said, "You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." ;)

electronic doll said...

@Liz the Land Girl

Good point about authenticity - I often think that we can worry too much about staying "constant" to a particular idea or mode of behaviour even when it isn't especially true for us at the time, because we worry about being thought inconsistent - I know I do.

And yes, fun. We all need more of that.