A very curious start to the week. I'd say dispiriting, but I'm relatively light-hearted about it, given my zero quantities of either expectation or emotional investment. Thus far I've had a date that wasn't a date and porn that wasn't porn.
The date first. Maybe it was my fault for not super-confirming, in writing, in triplicate. But when I do fire off a note to someone suggesting a time and a place after we have already agreed that yes, meeting would be nice, then I kind of take that as a "yes". Apparently not. It's just as well that these days I pick locations where I can happily spend a bit of time by myself, without looking or feeling like a fool. In the absence of CCK I've been collected other little coffee places around town, ones that aren't too busy or too commercial. Preferably ones with a good line in something toothsome in case I need a consolation prize. I resisted a cinnamon bun from the Nordic Bakery (a test of willpower when they come warm from the oven). Anyhow, that's the end of that. I'm a little sad, because it would have been a good get-back-on-the-horse date. He was interested in play, specifically CBT and male chastity, both of which are things I can really, really get behind these days. Not because I'm going overboard on an anti-male, serious cruelty kick, it's just I like the precision and the fact that it will not involve sex. I'm off sex at the moment. Plus he wasn't interested in a relationship. I'm off those too. Anyhow, it's not to be. Fish in the sea and all that - I'm sure there are more young men who want to be tortured in intimate places and then not have sex. How could such a wonderful offer be turned down?
Then the porn. This was sent to me. As you can see, it contains no porn. I was initially wary about clicking on it as I thought it might be a ghastly advert for some equally ghastly porn site. There's a lot of crap porn around - I'm fairly fussy in what I like (limited and specific) and what I don't like (mostly everything) in the porn video department. However it was certainly different. Strange, but as with many strange things, I do kind of like it. At first I was a bit put off, considering it all a little pseudo-arty, but then it made me smile. Any piece of work that makes me smile is worth something. Plus it was a nice idea, a bit clever-clever, but it's done fairly well. And the jiggly bed still makes me crack a grin.
So, two heaps of nothing. One better than the other. I'm off to a munch tomorrow and then meeting up with Painted Lady on Thursday where I shall hand over some cash in exchange for a CB2000 and a straitjacket. With any luck, the end part of the week shall contain a lot more somethings.
5 weeks ago