This is one of those posts that overlays my more spiritual activities with my kink. The two come from a very similar place, anyhow so it's no surprise that it's happening more and more.
As well as my ongoing kinky adventures, I am also conducting a four year alchemical Magnum Opus. Earth is my first year - it's a natural foundation - and I'm working on my body in particular. The sort of exercise I'm doing at the gym is about building muscle mass, becoming stronger and thence more earthy. I'm focusing a lot on my work, trying to do more things with my hands and have recently moved house and got a much better living space. I'm attempting to have a more grounded approach in my personal and emotional interactions (notice how the language ends up being coloured by earthy metaphor - I'm finding myself doing that a lot).
Each year I'm going to create a personal trial, to do something connected to the element itself which is both difficult and scares me. For earth, I intend to do a live burial, with a wake arranged by my friends happening over my head. I don't know how long I'll be able to be underground for. Ideally overnight, but I don't want to set a time limit on myself: the experience is the important part. I also want to be able to physically claw my way out of the ground at the end of it, partly because of the labour and exertion factor, partly because of the re birthing analogue and partly because I like Buffy.
I've been thinking a lot about how to pay for this. Earth is a very money orientated element, it's about material goods and one of it's common symbols is the pentacle or coin. It's important that payment is given to the people who are organising this for me - I have an image of a large pile of coins on a table. Naturally, I could just use the money I get from my day job and that would suffice: I worked for that money, it's mine. I've also been thinking about the idea of Temple Prostitution, not least because that would connect my body to sexuality to money but also because it would mean that the money earned for this event would be specific to these acts rather than a portion of my salary.
I'm turning this idea over and over in my mind, trying to work out exactly what I think and lots of things bubble to the surface: personal, political, spiritual, emotional. I'm usually pretty good at coming to a decision, especially with my sexuality, but this is still hanging over me. I like the idea, I think it has a power to it and could be a good experience. Yet I do have my doubts and anxieties. I've considered BDSM sex-work in the past, especially as my industry is pretty unstable and continues to be so, but not quite in this way. I have the natural nerves and concerns over sex work, plus, given this specific context I wonder whether what I am suggesting is actually offensive or problematic for people who are sex-workers, and if so, is that a concern for me? After all, I imagine it is certainly offensive and problematic to people who consider accepting money for sex as immoral, but that doesn't bother me. I am going to take some time and talk to people about it, and also to think more about the best way of doing it, particularly given that those who (should anyone actually take me up on the offer) hand over the cash, will in some part be contributing to the final ritual, so it's also about managing that link which I will have created.
I'm interested in what people think on the subject, so please tweet, email or comment.
As time goes on, I'm sure there will be some more kink-related outcomes to the entire process and, naturally, I will be writing about it. For those with no interest in the "magical" parts of Kinksville, don't worry - I won't be doing this too often, and there will be a handy tag so you can scoot on by.